Mom, Dad, I have something to say...
An important element often missing in family relationships is mutual understanding. Parents need to understand their children’s thoughts and emotions, and children also need to understand and empathize with their parents. Every day, we can set aside some time to sit together, have honest conversations, and share our stories. Try opening your heart to one another and truly listening with all your heart.
Listening and understanding are the keys to building empathy and strengthening the bond between parents and children.
At the same time, as children, we sometimes need to understand our parents as well. Journalist Trần Thu Hà once shared:
"Although my mother is older than me, when it comes to being a parent, she is as inexperienced as I am. When I feel unsure, she feels unsure too; when I make mistakes, she makes mistakes as well. My disappointment in her is sometimes even less than her disappointment in herself."
By understanding our parents’ feelings, children’s empathy and sharing play a crucial role in fostering connection and mutual understanding within the family.
First letter #1: Comparison
Dear Mom and Dad,
"How did you study that you only got 8 points? The test was hard, but look, Student A got 9.75!"
This is what you say to me when I’m happy about achieving the score I aimed for in Math. Honestly, I’m starting to feel afraid to talk to you because almost every time, you compare me to other kids.
I know I’m not perfect and I may not meet the “ideal child” you expect, but I am trying my best. Do you know that these comparisons make me lose motivation and constantly doubt myself?
No matter how much I try, or what achievements I reach — even if they are huge and mean everything to me — they seem like nothing in your eyes. I want to be praised, I want my efforts to be recognized, but it feels almost impossible.
Is it really that hard to say, “We’re proud of you”? Mom and Dad, I want you to love me for my own efforts, for who I truly am.
Dear Mom and Dad,
There are two siblings in our family, but it feels like all of your love and attention is focused on my younger brother. Whenever he makes a mistake, you comfort and guide him, but when I slip up, I get scolded. Or, when both of us score well, you only reward him, while I just hear a quiet “uh-huh” in response…
Many times I wonder: Am I really your child? Do I truly belong in this family? I’m not sure you can understand how hurt I feel when I see the gentle looks and gestures of affection reserved only for him.
I feel so sad. And whenever I try to talk to you about it, all I get in return are words like: “You’re the older sibling, you should let him have it; why do you compete over every little thing?”
I know my brother is younger and needs more care, but please don’t neglect me because of that… Mom and Dad, I am still your child. Could you love me a little more too?
Second letter #2: Unfair
Third Letter #3: I want to be myself...
Dear Mom and Dad,
“I’m gay.”
The moment those words left my mouth was the second time in my life I’d ever seen you that shocked — the first was when I was terribly ill as a child. I still remember how furious Dad was, and how Mom burst into tears. You told me I must be confused, that being gay was some kind of illness. But when I said again that I truly have feelings for someone of the same gender, you wanted to take me to the hospital.
In that moment… I was shattered. It felt like the sky was collapsing right in front of me.
“You think I raised you, paid for your education, just for you to bring this sickness into our home?”
“You’re not acting like a man, not acting like a woman — so what are you?”
“Please, don’t be like this anymore. We’re begging you. We can’t bear the shame.”
Those words — coming from the people I love most — haunt me every single day. From that moment, home no longer felt like a safe place for me to return to.
I’m sorry — I’m so, so sorry, Mom and Dad.
But please… please accept me for who I truly am.
Please love me because I am me, no matter who I love or which identity I belong to.
Fourth Letter #4: A home of conflict
Dear Mom and Dad,
People often tell me, “You should feel lucky to have a complete family, while so many others grow up without the love of a father, a mother, or even both.”
But I keep asking myself — is that really luck?
I don’t know anymore… You’ve argued so many times — not just once in a while, but almost every single day. Those shouting matches tear my heart apart, like thousands of knives piercing deep inside me.
Even the smallest things can turn into a big fight. Sometimes I wonder, why don’t you just set each other free? Will you keep arguing forever? Or… am I the reason you’re still holding on, the tie that keeps you both from walking away?
But Mom, Dad… I don’t want to live in a home filled with anger and yelling. I just want to feel happy — in my own family.
Fifth Letter #5: I want to be heard!
Dear Mom and Dad,
It’s really hard to open up to you. Maybe it’s because you’re always so busy and don’t have much time to listen, or maybe because sometimes you can’t control your anger — so you rarely let me explain myself.
I understand, I really do. But I also want to share what’s in my heart. When we disagree on something, even when I’m not wrong, you still scold me and refuse to hear my side of the story. It’s so frustrating.
Over time, all I can do is cry — I no longer have the energy to explain. Sometimes, when I’m under pressure from studying, I try to show you indirectly, just hoping you’ll notice me a little more. But in the end, you just ignore it…
I wish you could listen to me — understand me — even just a little. Right now, I feel so lonely in my own home. It no longer feels like a place where I can open my heart anymore.
Địa chỉ: Trường THPT Chuyên Lê Quý Đôn
Nam Nha Trang - Khánh Hoà - Việt Nam
